These quietly gay men continue to hear about the stinging news of incidents of bigotry, hate crime beatings around campuses, and tragic, devastating suicides of gay college students. On one side, for example, is the shield of a football broadcaster, sports editor, student senator, the gregarious partier, and on the other the shield of seclusion – a closeted gay student who doesn’t dare reveal his true nature for fear of being shunned by peers, and at parties. For most closeted gay men on campus, there exists a different coin. But sadly, they are probably an exception to the rule. What’s not a veneer is the bravery of Ben and Luke who spoke up and condemned the behavior at the University of Memphis frat house. Hiding behind the veneer of bloodshot bricks, a bravado of brotherhood, and bastions of bravery. How many more stories do we have to read involving hazing’s gone wrong? About women being assaulted?Īnd while we’re learning about the incident at the University of Memphis, how many other gay students have been denied access, not just to parties, but to a secretly non-inclusive fraternity that might have among its ranks those who sinisterly mock, degrade, vilify and sissify gays? The frat brothers’ baleful behaviors revealed when no one else is listening and watching. On one side of the hate-filled frat boy coin, you have those who conduct themselves well in classes, and around campus, but when they are with their brothers and their peers, particularly at parties, that coin drastically flips, revealing ugly conduct. But, for those few who are fervently antigay, they represent one of two coins depicting two very different double lives of some frat boys and gay men on college campuses. There are some good men among their ranks. We can’t just brush a broad stroke and label all frat boys and athletes homophobes. Is it because I’m the professor and they’re afraid of getting on my bad side? Is it because I teach in an urban area like New York City? That they enjoy my football banter and loyalty to the Pittsburgh Steelers? Or am I just lucky to teach great guys?
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Among my students are athletes and frat boys, and at least outwardly, to me, my sexuality doesn’t seem to rankle them so much. I’m an adjunct professor at a college in New York City, and am open with my classes about my sexuality, something that I never dreamed would happen when I was younger.
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Hopefully, progress continues, and one day brings to an end to the era of macho frat boys and closeted gay guys.
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Threatening behavior still exists on college campuses toward the LGBTQ community, forcing many to remain in the closet, despite tremendous advancements since I was in college. The wrath of some of the fraternity boys’ bigotry barred the two students from simply having a good time and being themselves. At least not outwardly.Īnd I most definitely was not at a fraternity party.īut for two students who attempted to attend a fraternity party at the University of Memphis, being outwardly gay – or for being gay – or perceived to be gay – or rumored to be gay – was a detriment. Nevertheless, I was popular, a student senator, football broadcaster, sports editor, disc jockey, and most of all a champion partier – all the traits of a straight college boy.